第11节
老校友们碰头。【】他不曾事先打招呼,擅自缺了席,并孤零零地在学生联合会吃了顿饭。他在那儿看见了里斯利,但他对里斯利很冷漠。夜幕又降临了。莫瑞斯发现自己思维非常敏捷,三个小时就能做完六个小时的功课,令自己大吃一惊。他按平时的就寝时间上了床,一觉醒来,身体健康,心情非常愉快。潜在意识深处的一种本能劝他在二十四小时之内别再去想德拉姆以及有关德拉姆的事。 从此,他们二人偶尔见见面。德拉姆请莫瑞斯吃午饭,莫瑞斯再回请一次。他的天性中所没有的谨慎在起作用,他一向不在这方面下工夫,这次可是极其谨慎。他变得很警惕,从十月开始的这个学期,他所有的行为都可以用“斗争”一词来描述,但决不涉足危险领域。他窥探到了德拉姆的长处以及弱点。尤其重要的是,他锻炼并加强了自己的能力。 倘若被迫问自己:“这是在干什么”他就会回答说:“德拉姆是我所感兴趣的。”然而他没有问过自己,仅仅是闭着嘴,关上心扉,径直往前走。光阴日复一日,连同种种矛盾,消逝到深渊中。他知道自己有所进展,其余的全都无所谓。倘若他很用功,跟同学相处得很好,那都是连带反应而已,他根本不放在心上。向上爬,朝着山腰伸出手去,直到某人的手抓住它。他就是为了达到这个目的而生下来的。他忘掉了第一个夜晚自己那种病态的兴奋,以及更奇妙的康复。那是他在告别过去。他的心境与温存、感情完全无关,想到德拉姆的时候,他是冷静的。他深信德拉姆并不讨厌他,对他来说,这就足够了。一步一个脚印,他甚至没有抱什么希望。因为希望会使他分神,而他不得不关照的事太多了。 chapter7 erheyateatonce.”hall,inearly,plungingintoaion. ”thatso” ”butanae.” hisvoiceaspudding” itpresentlyappearedthatthepuddingilyrow. ”idontknoyoullsayidratherlikeyouropiniononhappenedifitdoesntboreyou.” ”notabit,”saidurice. ”uponthereligiousquestion.” atthatnttheyan. ”iorry,ething,”uri. hdrew. ”youhavedohat,anytiyrot,”durharotested.heoreeaestly. ”hall,idontybeliefs,orratherustjusttellyouthatinorthodox.iotachristian.” uriandhadrerkedlastternallegedebatethatifanhaddoubtsheghthavethegratohielf.butheonlysaidtodurhahatitquestionandawideone. ”iknoythertookit.itoldhersixnthsagointhesuerandshedidntnd.shedesofoolishjoke,asshedoes,butthatyndforyears.ihadneverbelievedsihingthatdidbetter,quiteasakid,aoknoedierativetospeakout.youkhatitsreallytheirinpoint.soispokeout.shesaid,ohyes,youllbee:theldestforfthethingnceivable,andieupagain.” ”why” ”as.ididntniesayear” ”yes,iknonion.” ”andatedoyonions.ifiasyouandthegirlsaredoingtodseisupposethat.” uriotanding,said,”sodidyougo” ”where” ”totheh.” durhaprangup.hisfaceile. ”no,ididntgotoh,hall.ithoughtthatlain.” ”iorryieantooffendyou.iatherslocatg.” durhaquattedontherugaurihair.”haveyouknoanlong”heaskedafterapause. ”hereandatschool,fiveyears.” ”oh.”heseedtorefleauriotherandtyoyposition.” ”yourtherstbeverydifferenttone.” ”isyourslike” ”sheneverkesaroanything.” ”becauseyouvedohingsheapprove,iexpedneverwill.” ”ohno,shefagherself.” ”youttell,hall,especiallyen.iickyrealtroublethatiyourhelpabout.” ”shelleround.” ”exadisgustedhher.there,ihavetoldyounooneelseintheworldknows.” urihedhisfistandhitdurhaightlyontheheadhit.”hardluck,”hebreathed. ”tellaboutyourholife.” ”theresnothingtotell.goon.” ”luckydevils.” ”oh,idontkno” ”absolutehell,seryandhell.” urihahandfulofhairinitsgrasp. ”hathurts”criedtheotherjoyously. ”nion” ”onesrriedaclergno,thathurts.” ”absolutehell,eh” ”hall,ineverkneselfofuriceshand”aherseoarchibaldlondon,esquire,ofthegoing.”hefellbetauriees. ”well,yougoifyoing” ”becauseitgo.” itehehaddaredtoplay.religionaivesfadedintothebaupinthehearthrugandfittedhisheadintotheanydaysafterthat,durhaeingquiteassillyashielf.et,broiltheirfriends.atlastdurhaottired.beiis,andhisaurionstrativeduringit.theyinarrarroundshouldeoepositionuriachair,anddurhathisfeet,leaningagainsthiintheshair. andtheirrangeiiddleclassesasfaith.itfaith, beinginactive.itgavehiosupport,nolook.itdidtilloppositiontouhedlikea ...